Welcome to Lita's Lens

Reflections on Grief, Identity and Self-Discovery

A Letter from Lita

Dear Reader,

If you're here, something in your life is shifting — or it already has. Maybe you're still making sense of it. Maybe you haven't found the words yet.Lita's Lens is where I put mine.

This is an introspective space exploring transitions, identity, reinvention, and the quiet work of figuring out who you are becoming. I write from lived experience, not from a distance and I hope these words offer you clarity and a deeper trust in yourself as you navigate what comes next.

~Carlita

Featured Posts

When Conversations Feel Like Progress But Nothing Changes

When You’ve Done the Work and It Still Doesn’t Work

When Your Needs Still Aren’t Being Met

When You’ve Done the Work and It Still Doesn’t Work

You did the work. You communicated clearly, adjusted your approach, tried every version of the conversation. And still, nothing changed. Here's what I had to finally face: communication creates understanding — but it doesn't create alignment.

Mar 294 min read

When Your Needs Still Aren’t Being Met

When my needs weren't being met, I assumed I wasn't explaining them clearly enough. So I kept trying — different words, different timing, different approaches. What I had to face eventually wasn't a communication problem. It was a compatibility one.

Mar 193 min read

Still Waiting, Still Rising: A Juneteenth Reflection on Delayed Freedom

Every year, when the Fourth of July rolls around, I find myself in this quiet tug-of-war. On the surface, it's a day of...

Jun 19, 20254 min read

Before They Could Cry: What I’ve Learned Holding Space for Black Men

There’s a certain kind of hope you carry when you’re raising someone with love. You hope that if you listen closely, speak gently, and...

Jun 8, 20257 min read

Why I Write the Way I Do: From People-Pleasing to Presence

There’s something vulnerable about writing in your own voice—especially when you know people are watching. Recently, someone close to me questioned whether I’ve been too open in my blogs. “Aren’t you worried about what people will think?” they asked. I used to be. I’m not anymore. As I’ve gotten older, I care less about what people think—and am not controlled by it—but remain conscious. I'm not writing to impress or be seen, for noise or notice - I'm writing to create connec

May 22, 20256 min read

When Stillness Sets You Free

Montego Bay offered more than turquoise waters and tucked-away cabanas. It gave me breath, pause, and a mirror to see myself clearly again. As I wrap up this Montego Bay Meditations series, I do so with a heart full of peace and reflect on the moments that shaped my journey, both outward and inward. This wasn't merely a vacation; it was a pilgrimage back to myself. A Moment That Reframed It All Here—under this roof, wrapped in ocean breeze and quiet—was where I told him I’d d

May 18, 20254 min read

Montego Bay Meditations: Belonging to My Self - Whole, Wandering, and Unwed

What if being alone wasn’t something to overcome, but something to honor? In Whole, Wandering, and Unwed, Carlita Coley shares a quiet meditation on solo travel, self-trust, and the beauty of choosing presence over performance. With tender honesty and grounded insight, she explores what it means to live fully—even when life doesn’t follow the expected script.

May 14, 20255 min read

The Space Between Expectation and Reality

There’s a version of motherhood I carried in my heart for years—a vision of emotional closeness, shared wisdom, and mutual care between myself and my adult children. I imagined easy conversations over brunch, spontaneous check-ins just to hear my voice, and holidays where I was a center of gravity. I believed, deep down, that all the love, labor, and sacrifices I poured in would come full circle—not necessarily with fanfare, but with intentional presence. That vision wasn’t u

May 12, 20254 min read

Montego Bay Meditations: How I Got Here - First Solo Trip with a Disability

Spoiler alert: I made it to Jamaica. Alone. Disabled. And absolutely triumphant. Traveling solo is a leap of faith for anyone—but when you live with a disability, it can feel more like a tightrope walk with no net. My Mother’s Day getaway to Montego Bay was more than a vacation. It was a declaration: that despite neuropathy, fatigue, and a world built for the able-bodied, I deserve joy, adventure, and rest too. . This post isn’t just about the miles I traveled—it’s about the

May 10, 20255 min read

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Welcome to Lita's Lens

Featured Posts

When Conversations Feel Like Progress But Nothing Changes

When You’ve Done the Work and It Still Doesn’t Work

When Your Needs Still Aren’t Being Met

When You’ve Done the Work and It Still Doesn’t Work

When Your Needs Still Aren’t Being Met

Still Waiting, Still Rising: A Juneteenth Reflection on Delayed Freedom

Before They Could Cry: What I’ve Learned Holding Space for Black Men

Why I Write the Way I Do: From People-Pleasing to Presence

When Stillness Sets You Free

Montego Bay Meditations: Belonging to My Self - Whole, Wandering, and Unwed

The Space Between Expectation and Reality

Montego Bay Meditations: How I Got Here - First Solo Trip with a Disability

Seeking Further Guidance?

Let's talk and discuss your personal goals.

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